This blog is my journey in parenting. Before my fist sentence is even complete I am interrupted by a high pitched squeal that I must now go and investigate!
I'm writing this not because I have any trained expertese and formulas but because I do spend a lot of time processing how my parenting is going to afect my children and our family life. The main assets I think that I bring to this difficult task is 1) I have a creative way of approaching things. 2) as a youthworker I have dealt with countless problems teenagers face, and know that they put a lot of the blame, rightly or wrongly, goes on the parents. I try always to be aware of the bigger picture of the child's development and I do believe that decisions I make these days as my children are very small will have some influence over their lives in years to come.
I was introduced to motherhood very unexpectedly...I did not have sex until I was married...something I made a decision about as a teenager and am glad that I stuck to. I met Joel at university and we were married soon after leaving. 4 months after our wedding we went on holiday to Mallorca. We'd not had a very romantic honeymoon...we were shattered after a tough 6 months moving to a new city and planning the wedding, new jobs, tough living arrangements and so I spent most of the time asleep. We'd gone to a remote holiday cabin in Scotland which belonged to a family and was advertised basically in a 'cheap holiday's in other people's homes for people who are a bit strapped for cash' magazine and remote it was. In reality it was remote in a 'nothing to do' way and the cabin was full of another familys stuff and far from romantic. So feeling a bit upset to miss out on a beautiful honeymoon we booked to go to Mallorca later in the year when it would be cheaper. There IS a reason it is cheap in late October. If you thought it was just because of term times you are wrong - it is because it is cold.
I spent the week stubbornly sitting on the beach in my bikini simply because I had gone on a package holiday to Mallorca. Secretly I was craving a cosy big jumper but I may as well have stayed in England if I was to give into that so sunbathing became a series of quick walks along the beach...just to keep our bodies a bit warmer! One day,whilst on one of these walks I had what could be described as a wierd experience. As a Christian I believe that God speaks. I believe this because realistically if God is capable of creating a universe he is surely capable of communicating - which is something even I can do and I find it difficult to create a lasagne. I also believe in a God who cares about us, especially when we committ to putting him first in our lives and so he will speak to us to help us out in that. So anyway... i do try to listen for ways that Gid speaks all the time. i know some people hear God's voice as an audible sound but that has never yet happened to me - however as we were walking along the beach that day and I was just looking down at the sand I felt strong voice in my mind saying, and so clearly 'i want you to stop drinking' It was a strange thing to hear and I was a little confused. I had gone though a stage of heavyish drinking whilst I was younger and had come through that with som pretty strong opinions about alcohol abuse. Though I occasionally drank in moderation I would never get drunk and didn't even really enjoy drinking anymore. Still we were on holiday and were more likely to go out for meals and drink and go for cocktails whilst we were there. Strait away I said to Joel what I had heard and he questioned it. He said he didn;t know wht God would say that to me as I was not nto drinking anyway - all the same things I had just thought myself but I told him that maybe I did have some issue with alcohol that I was just not aware. Otherwise I as totally wrong and it wasn't God but anyhow giving up alcohol was not going to do me any harm anyway. So that was that...no more holiday cocktails!
The following week we were back in Birmingham, back to work and with no sun tan! I went to a class at fitness first - one with power in the title - so I braced myself for it to be a bit harder than normal. It was but felt good to be pushing myself but the next day I could not get out of bed. I felt terrible and my stomach hurt from too many sit ups and I felt sick. This went on for the rest of the week and another week. I was dragging myself out of bed for meetings but felt so rough and the rest of the time I was either in bed, watching Des & Mel, or looking so attractive with my head own the toilet. I spoke to an old friend on the phone and when I had to excuse myself from the conversation for a moment whilst I was sick in the bin she asked whether I thought I might be pregnant. I can't quite remember now whether I really was that dim or whether I just hadn't wanted to face up to a sneaky suspicion.
So, yes, my introduction to motherhood was unexpected and pretty grim but equally I have always felt confident about it simply becasue I take strength knowing that God knew about this baby before I did and cared enough about it to not let me endanger it when I did not know.
So I never had chance to get broody, I never had a lovely picture in my mind of what it would be like with my lovely little angel of a baby making my life all cosy and complete. To be honest I was terrified, shocked, worried about all the plans I had and how I would be able to do my job, aware that we could not afford it, and most of all sick. But I believe in people. Investing in people and encouraging them to be the best that they can be is what my life and my work is all about so I could hardly not apply the same principle to my own child so I braced myself to get on with it and give it my all. In this blog I will talk about how I have and do tackle issues I face and my opinions on things parents have to deal with. Like I say... I am no Miriam Stoppard and certainly no Gina Ford but I am idealistic and I don't see why anyone has to feel defeated as a parent and can not enjoy bringing up confident and happy children. I am opinionated and am prone to seeing things as black and white - so I certainly would be interested in any comments of agreement or disagreement... I'm up for a debate!
I'm writing this not because I have any trained expertese and formulas but because I do spend a lot of time processing how my parenting is going to afect my children and our family life. The main assets I think that I bring to this difficult task is 1) I have a creative way of approaching things. 2) as a youthworker I have dealt with countless problems teenagers face, and know that they put a lot of the blame, rightly or wrongly, goes on the parents. I try always to be aware of the bigger picture of the child's development and I do believe that decisions I make these days as my children are very small will have some influence over their lives in years to come.
I was introduced to motherhood very unexpectedly...I did not have sex until I was married...something I made a decision about as a teenager and am glad that I stuck to. I met Joel at university and we were married soon after leaving. 4 months after our wedding we went on holiday to Mallorca. We'd not had a very romantic honeymoon...we were shattered after a tough 6 months moving to a new city and planning the wedding, new jobs, tough living arrangements and so I spent most of the time asleep. We'd gone to a remote holiday cabin in Scotland which belonged to a family and was advertised basically in a 'cheap holiday's in other people's homes for people who are a bit strapped for cash' magazine and remote it was. In reality it was remote in a 'nothing to do' way and the cabin was full of another familys stuff and far from romantic. So feeling a bit upset to miss out on a beautiful honeymoon we booked to go to Mallorca later in the year when it would be cheaper. There IS a reason it is cheap in late October. If you thought it was just because of term times you are wrong - it is because it is cold.
I spent the week stubbornly sitting on the beach in my bikini simply because I had gone on a package holiday to Mallorca. Secretly I was craving a cosy big jumper but I may as well have stayed in England if I was to give into that so sunbathing became a series of quick walks along the beach...just to keep our bodies a bit warmer! One day,whilst on one of these walks I had what could be described as a wierd experience. As a Christian I believe that God speaks. I believe this because realistically if God is capable of creating a universe he is surely capable of communicating - which is something even I can do and I find it difficult to create a lasagne. I also believe in a God who cares about us, especially when we committ to putting him first in our lives and so he will speak to us to help us out in that. So anyway... i do try to listen for ways that Gid speaks all the time. i know some people hear God's voice as an audible sound but that has never yet happened to me - however as we were walking along the beach that day and I was just looking down at the sand I felt strong voice in my mind saying, and so clearly 'i want you to stop drinking' It was a strange thing to hear and I was a little confused. I had gone though a stage of heavyish drinking whilst I was younger and had come through that with som pretty strong opinions about alcohol abuse. Though I occasionally drank in moderation I would never get drunk and didn't even really enjoy drinking anymore. Still we were on holiday and were more likely to go out for meals and drink and go for cocktails whilst we were there. Strait away I said to Joel what I had heard and he questioned it. He said he didn;t know wht God would say that to me as I was not nto drinking anyway - all the same things I had just thought myself but I told him that maybe I did have some issue with alcohol that I was just not aware. Otherwise I as totally wrong and it wasn't God but anyhow giving up alcohol was not going to do me any harm anyway. So that was that...no more holiday cocktails!
The following week we were back in Birmingham, back to work and with no sun tan! I went to a class at fitness first - one with power in the title - so I braced myself for it to be a bit harder than normal. It was but felt good to be pushing myself but the next day I could not get out of bed. I felt terrible and my stomach hurt from too many sit ups and I felt sick. This went on for the rest of the week and another week. I was dragging myself out of bed for meetings but felt so rough and the rest of the time I was either in bed, watching Des & Mel, or looking so attractive with my head own the toilet. I spoke to an old friend on the phone and when I had to excuse myself from the conversation for a moment whilst I was sick in the bin she asked whether I thought I might be pregnant. I can't quite remember now whether I really was that dim or whether I just hadn't wanted to face up to a sneaky suspicion.
So, yes, my introduction to motherhood was unexpected and pretty grim but equally I have always felt confident about it simply becasue I take strength knowing that God knew about this baby before I did and cared enough about it to not let me endanger it when I did not know.
So I never had chance to get broody, I never had a lovely picture in my mind of what it would be like with my lovely little angel of a baby making my life all cosy and complete. To be honest I was terrified, shocked, worried about all the plans I had and how I would be able to do my job, aware that we could not afford it, and most of all sick. But I believe in people. Investing in people and encouraging them to be the best that they can be is what my life and my work is all about so I could hardly not apply the same principle to my own child so I braced myself to get on with it and give it my all. In this blog I will talk about how I have and do tackle issues I face and my opinions on things parents have to deal with. Like I say... I am no Miriam Stoppard and certainly no Gina Ford but I am idealistic and I don't see why anyone has to feel defeated as a parent and can not enjoy bringing up confident and happy children. I am opinionated and am prone to seeing things as black and white - so I certainly would be interested in any comments of agreement or disagreement... I'm up for a debate!
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